2 Corinthians 10:3-5

We are human, but we don’t wage war with human plans and methods. ⁴ We use God’s mighty weapons, not mere worldly weapons, to knock down the Devil’s strongholds. ⁵ With these weapons we break down every proud argument that keeps people from knowing God. With these weapons we conquer their rebellious ideas, and we teach them to obey Christ.

New Living Translation

I have been thinking a lot about this passage lately. There are times my life, what I do all day long, feels futile. I'm working all day in a chemistry lab, engrossed in my samples and the level of ammonia, nitrogen, phenol, or alkalinity. Working in the same lab with me are people I care about deeply, who do not know Jesus. We are focusing all our energy on what is in our drinking water or waste water, but the eternal destiny of their souls is being ignored.

There is no scientific test I can run to prove to them that they need God. They know my beliefs, we talk about it frequently. But some of them are fringe church attenders, some are skeptics, and a few are self declared atheists. One thing that is evident not only to me, but to anyone who has ever tried to witness, is that you cannot debate anyone into the Kingdom of God.

I can't bear the thought of these souls suffering for eternity. I don't understand how I can enjoy heaven if I have any responsibility for anyone else not being there as well. But nothing I can do can change the situation.

The same is not true for the Holy Spirit.

When humans want to change someone's mind, they rely on evidence. They make the best case possible, and present it. Sometimes they escalate to arguing. In some sad cases, illustrated by the recent murder of an abortion doctor, they even resort to violence. None of these tactics will ever bring someone to their knees before the cross.

We cannot win the battle with human methods or techniques. We must rely on the Holy Spirit. His Word is our Sword. I will confess at times it seems completely ineffective because those I am trying to reach reject the Word as any kind of authority. However, whether they reject it or not, it is doing it's work under the surface.

We are told in Scripture that nobody can accept Jesus until the Holy Spirit draws them to Him. We need to depend on constant, fervent prayer for those who are lost. We don't need to convince anyone of anything. God will do that. We just need to be available to do whatever God may ask us to do along the way.

Romans 8:26-28

And the Holy Spirit helps us in our distress. For we don’t even know what we should pray for, nor how we should pray. But the Holy Spirit prays for us with groanings that cannot be expressed in words. ²⁷ And the Father who knows all hearts knows what the Spirit is saying, for the Spirit pleads for us believers in harmony with God’s own will. ²⁸ And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them.

New Living Translation

There is such comfort in this passage. I realize it has been misused. Almost every Christian I know can tell of a time when something bad happened, and someone quoted verse 28 as saying "All things work for good." When you are hurting, it doesn't typically feel helpful to have someone insinuate that you shouldn't feel bad, because God is using this terrible thing for good.

But the truth is, there is comfort in this. God is so sovereign, so powerful, that He can use the very worst to accomplish something good. It doesn't make evil into something good. It just means that His goodness is greater than evil.

What I am finding comfort in tonight though are verses 26-27. I often discover that in difficult circumstances, praying seems like a task that is simply beyond me. I can cry out "Help me God!", but anything rational beyond that is impossible. Pain, fear, and confusion lock up my prayer abilities, because all I can focus on is relief. The problem is, relief is not always the best answer. That is generally the last thing I want to acknowledge when hurting.

Reading through the Psalms helps a lot at times like these, because so often they beautifully express my very feelings, and I figure God won't turn a deaf ear to His own words prayed back at Him! Some days though, even that isn't quite enough. It definitely isn't enough when I have the sense that God is wanting to accomplish something specific through the struggle I am experiencing. When that is the case, crying out to God for relief is a bit futile. He will bring comfort, but not until is purpose is accomplished.

It is comforting to know that I don't have to know what to pray when I find myself in this kind of battle. All I have to do is call out to Him, tell Him I'm in over my head, and let Him do the rest. I can - and generally do - pour out all my thoughts, feeling, and arguments to Him. If I were talking to any mere human they would be certain that I'm completely unable to stick with any single line of thought. So much of what I pray at these times contradicts what I have just said. I pray in circles, taking this side, then that, and then yet another. I can't follow my own thoughts; I don't see how anyone else can.

But God is not confused by it all. He understands my poor muddled brain, because He created it. He knows all the arguments, He knows when I am saying something because it is "right" and when I am saying something because it is what I long for, and when I am saying something that exposes my truest, deepest motives. I can't always tell the difference myself. Sometimes I can but I don't want to admit it. But God always knows.

And His Spirit is praying with me, not in a confused jumble, but with perfect wisdom and with perfect love. He knows my heart, my motives, and He knows exactly what I need. And slowly but with loving determination, He works to untangle the mess and lead me into His good and perfect will.

So dear Lord, please...pray for me. I need it.

Psalm 42

1 As the deer pants for streams of water, so I long for you, O God.

2 I thirst for God, the living God. When can I come and stand before him?

3 Day and night, I have only tears for food, while my enemies continually taunt me, saying, “Where is this God of yours?”

4 My heart is breaking as I remember how it used to be: I walked among the crowds of worshipers, leading a great procession to the house of God, singing for joy and giving thanks— it was the sound of a great celebration!

5 Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and 6 my God! Now I am deeply discouraged, but I will remember your kindness— from Mount Hermon, the source of the Jordan, from the land of Mount Mizar.

7 I hear the tumult of the raging seas as your waves and surging tides sweep over me.

8 Through each day the Lord pours his unfailing love upon me, and through each night I sing his songs, praying to God who gives me life.

9 “O God my rock,” I cry, “Why have you forsaken me? Why must I wander in darkness, oppressed by my enemies?”

10 Their taunts pierce me like a fatal wound. They scoff, “Where is this God of yours?”

11 Why am I discouraged? Why so sad? I will put my hope in God! I will praise him again— my Savior and my God!

This is one of those days when the unexpected happens, and I feel sad, hurt, and abandoned. It was nothing intentional, nothing that should mean anything at all in the long run, but still emotions run deep. And my default response when I hurt is to feel that God has abandoned me. My natural response to that is to withdraw from Him. The result is an ache and a loneliness that defies description. The hollow feeling in my heart tells me that life no longer has any meaning or purpose. All this because I didn't get my way!

Some wounds are deeper than others. Some are objectively horrifying; some, like this one, are fairly insignificant. All can lead to this wrong response, that draws me away from God. It is so natural, it happens without my even thinking about it.

This time though, I did think about it. And the conclusion I came to is that I simply cannot withdraw from my God. When the Bible says that Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life, that was no mere figure of speach. Jesus is indeed the source of my life. When I hide from Him because of fear, pain, or a lack of trust, I cut myself off from life itself, and my spirit withers and dies.

I don't want to repeat this pattern. I need Jesus. I long for Him, thirst for Him. I simply cannot live one second without Him. I may be discouraged right now, but this disappointment is not the end of the story. I will put my hope in God. I will remember His kindness, and I will praise Him again, because He alone gives me life.