Wednesday, March 25, 2009

At the Last Supper, Jesus told Peter that he would betray him.  Peter objected strenuously - he would die before he betrayed Jesus!  Jesus told him that in fact, before the rooster crowed that very night, Peter would deny Him three times.

After the dinner, Jesus went to the Garden of Gethsemane with His disciples to pray.  While there, Judas came with the soldiers, to arrest Jesus.

Peter was ready to fight.  He meant what he said earlier - he was fully committed to the cause of Jesus, and was willing to die for Him.  He pulled out his sword and cut off the ear of one of the soldiers.

Then something Peter never expected happened - Jesus told him to put the sword away and let Him be arrested.   Adding to the shock, Jesus healed the soldier's ear.

Later that night, just as Jesus had predicted, Peter denied that he was a follower of Jesus', and in fact denied that he even knew Jesus.  When the rooster crowed immediately after his third denial, Peter realized what had happened, and was heartbroken.

How did this man go from a zealot ready to die for the cause, to someone who wouldn't even admit he knew Jesus, in just a few hours?  

For years I assumed that Peter had overestimated his courage and devotion.  He thought he was ready for battle, but he was wrong.  When the time came to take a stand, he ran instead.  He needed the power of the Holy Spirit to have the courage he clearly lacked.

Recently though, I have realized that this is a wrong interpretation of what was happening.  Peter was courageous, and ready to die for the cause.  The problem was he had the wrong cause.

Peter was expecting a coup, a violent overthrow of the Roman oppression.  When the soldiers showed up, he was ready for a fight.  What happened to Peter that night in the garden was not the exposure of cowardice.  Instead his world was turned upside down.

He had devoted the last three years to this man Jesus.  He was convinced He was the Messiah.  Sure, Jesus said some weird things over the years...things about suffering and dying.  That didn't make much sense for a political conqueror, but somehow it would all work out.  Because one thing he knew for sure - the Messiah could not lose!

Yet instead of fighting, his Messiah was surrendering!  This did not make any sense to Peter.  Everything he thought he was signed up for he was watching go down the tubes in just a few moments.

In his confusion, Peter felt lost.  He couldn't fight...but he couldn't surrender either.  He was ready for a glorious death in battle, but he wasn't ready to lay down his life for what seemed at the moment to be nothing.  So he followed...and watched...and when confronted, denied that he was a follower of Jesus.

It is so easy to follow the wrong plan.  Over the years there have been many times when I thought I knew how things should go.  I was ready to conquer the world for Christ.  When things didn't go the way I anticipated my faith was shaken.

How could Jesus let this happen?  He is the One who called me to ministry.  Why would He allow what seemed like disaster?  How do I believe that Jesus is my Savior when He keeps letting me down?

The problem is, I wasn't following Jesus, I was following my own ideas, based on a mix of my own dreams and aspirations, and a bit of Scripture thrown in to attempt to manipulate God into doing things my way. 

What seemed like disaster was really salvation.  Because God used those times to purify me, strengthen me, and help me to find His real plan.