You let the distress bring you to God, not drive you from Him.  The result was all gain, no loss.  Distress that drives us to God does that.  It turns us around.  It gets us back in the way of salvation.  We never regret that kind of pain.  But those who let distress drive them away from God are full of regrets, end up on a deathbed of regrets.  And now, isn't it wonderful all the ways in which this distress has goaded you closer to God?  You're more alive, more concerned, more sensitive, more reverent, more human, more passionate, more responsible.  Looked at from any angle, you've come out of this with purity of heart.

The Message, 2 Corinthians 7:9-12

I don't like making mistakes.  A panic rises in me that is indescribable whenever I think I have done something wrong.  Growing up, a small blunder could bring terrible beatings.  I've not fully recovered from that.  So when I do something wrong now, whether intentional or unintentional, I'm terrified.

The sad thing is, I'm not perfect.  Oh how I wish I were!  But sometimes I'm still selfish, or I'm irritable, or sometimes I just get careless and do something foolish.  I try to be perfect, but I can't pull it off.

This last week, I made a mistake.  (OK, I made more than one.  But I'm only going to talk about one!)  I started 12 flasks boiling on the distillation rack at work, then went into the cooler to get some samples.  I had trouble finding what I needed, and was in there too long.  When I got back out, my flasks had boiled down to nothing.  In a rush I turned them off and disconnected them, but it was too late.  Six of the flasks had cracks in them, and two of them exploded in my face.  I'm amazed I wasn't seriously injured by the flying shards of very hot glass.

I panicked.  My first thought was, "How can I hide this?"  What a foolish thought!  The noise from the exploding flasks was hard to ignore.  My coworkers ran to the scene to make sure I was OK.  That was bad enough, the embarrassment was intense.  But one of the other chemist alerted my boss.  Sheer terror exploded in my head, causing far more chaos and destruction than those flasks could every have caused.  My mind was racing as I desperately looked for a way out of this situation.

Jim came running, and said, "Are you OK?  Don't worry about the flasks.  We have more flasks.  ARE YOU OK?!!!"

I was stunned.  My expectation was punishment.  That expectation has been drilled into my head since I was a small child.  I spill my milk, I am beaten until I can't sit.  Surely if I make a mistake that destroys 8 flasks that cost a couple hundred dollars each, I am at the very least going to get fired!

Isn't it funny that after all these years as a Christian, after all this time with a good, kind husband, and after 2 years at a job where mistakes are understood (though clearly discouraged!), I still haven't internalized the message of grace.

This passage of scripture is about grace.  The Corinthians had a sin issue in their church that the apostle Paul had to address in a previous letter.  A man was living in sexual immorality, and instead of lovingly correcting them, they were proud of their tolerance as they embraced his behavior.  (There is a serious message for today's church in that situation...but that is another topic entirely!)

It hurt them a lot to be criticized.  It is never fun to face the truth that you have been wrong.  But once Paul pointed out that truth, they had a choice to make - how were they going to respond?

They could have become angry, defensive, and bitter.  I've done that so many times I'm ashamed to even think about it.  It isn't that I don't know right from wrong.  I just get so afraid of the coming punishment, I try to use the sheer force of my will to convince my accuser that I'm justified, and therefore OK.  The Corinthians could have done that.  

They could have made excuses, lived in denial, much like I wanted to try to hide the broken flasks.  They could have denied that they really understood what was happening, or that others may have approved, but not ME!

Instead, they did something that I struggle a lot with.  They accepted the criticism, and fixed the problem.  They modeled the concept of repentance.  It was a painful situation, but because they faced the truth and repented, they received grace.  Because with God, correction or discipline is much different from how I experienced it in my childhood.

Back then, discipline was not designed to teach me anything or to help me grow.  It served only as a release for my mother's anger and frustration.  My response was irrelevant.  Punishment continued until she felt some kind of release.  (My mother did the best she knew how to do, having been raised in the same type of atmosphere.  She made mistakes, and also deserves grace.  She is learning better responses now.)

When God disciplines, His intent is very different.  He has no issues with out-of-control anger.  So His anger isn't because His ego is hurt; it is because our sin is destroying us, His beloved children.  His love is so great He simply cannot let it go unchallenged, any more than I could allow one of my children to become involved in drug abuse without my intervention.  Love demands discipline, because sin destroys the sinner.  

God's desire in His disciplining is for us to grow closer to Him, and to become pure and holy.  His discipline is done in love, and with grace.  It is for our benefit, not just so He can vent His frustrations.

It is never fun facing mistakes and failure.  But it can make me stronger.  But that will only happen if I can be humble enough to admit my failures, and learn from them.  For me this takes a tremendous about of trust in the goodness and grace of God.